LOVE IMPARTS

LOVE IMPARTS

1. Light Breezes
I could barely breathe, though your laughter
warmed me to tears and holy shit you just
walked in the room. I don’t know if you’ve moved
on, if it’s she that now makes you happy,
assumptions of/in friendship, 20 years
outstanding physiological judgment
passed, communication one sided, on both sides.
I’m scared I have left your heart.

This use to be easy for us, you my tomato
my calm winter snowfall kept beneath my blankets.
I miss us. I still love you. How do I
honor that? How do I come down from that
mountain overwhelming, filled with love
and not cry in your arms the way I’m supposed to?
How if you’re within distance of my fingertips
do I not reach out to hold you?

We’re still breathing . . . so love me.

2. The Bunny’s Name is Paco!
The way I am. . .
What was I thinking about? The way
the cats come and go like train of
thought, sunk nestled on my shoulder
the remembrance of you, the love
they give me in loving memory of my
sorrow, like shut up and be, DAD,
presents from snail mailed lovers, elephants
journaling our embrace from miles apart,
the sun in red light, farm districts,
the comfort to tell me your loss,
and spoon feed me your soul, and my tomato,
I gave it to you, my heart, all of me,
Dominican winds from the west, pulling
me to the mountains in suspenders,
the potted plants as thanks, Buddhist prayer flags
kept in the right place, Tetris woven
into the headlights of oncoming traffic,
the apology I lacked in tears, because
all I wanted was your breath on the
back of my neck, dark figure in the
doorway, the bunny reminded me I
don’t know my weight in words, and
I don’t know your breath in verse, so
here’s mine. Love on top of love,
stitched with love, filled with love,
called love, in love, for love, and
all yours. I honor the place in you
which is of love, and light, and
peace, those smiles, that came straight
from your heart. You showed me, me,
healed, full, of garden fresh tea, me, in
love, ohh the love, like a little boy,
thank you.

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35.8333333 BREATHS

35.8333333 BREATHS

      (Title Note: 35.8333333 breaths is approximately how many you will take while at rest listening to this poem.)

It takes approximately 6 seconds to breathe in, and to breathe out.
Which means every 3 seconds we have the opportunity to start over.
Exhale all of our fears, our pain, our heartache,
to show love to all of that hurt, then let it go.

You, hold onto pain like a child clutches its mother
in a room full of strangers, and I, want to teach you
all I know about breathing, about the meditation between breaths,
about your skin the way I would imagine comfort feeling,
and you, in a room full of friends, unprovoked and brilliant, clutch my hand
as tears roll down your cheek. So we walk, talk all night,
while thinking of kissing where those tears fell, because I remember that feeling,
but your lips locked my vision as they parted,
your breath interrupted, the taste of moonlight
as it formed dew on my mustache, and your laughter,
maybe soon I’ll be visible.

I apologize, for the things I can’t control,
for the love I can’t heal, and for the complication
in my arms, the way they hold you the way
they’re designed to, the way I wanted to.
And I apologize that I am not perfect, that I can see pain first,
that I am often shy and will allow you to run away
without telling you, you are beautiful. My brain
stutters without reason or semblance of speed.
I can’t always give you the comfort you need,
due to my need for comfort, and that’s okay,
because each day we take approximately 28,800 breaths,
that’s 10,512,000 chances a year to choose to smile,
and imagine a better place, breathe each other in,
and breathe all of this out. So cheer up, I promise
it gets better. If you need proof, the sun is rising,
your friends are holding you, your bed is made,
and we all just smiled, because you did.